Where Was I Going With This?

I was going to write about this old woman who had on a pair of kick ass glasses like all the cool kids are wearing now, only hers are the real deal and they are prescription because that's what glasses are for (trust me you do not look cool with those things on dumbass). They made her eyes look all huge and shit and so everytime she smiled she looked like a retarded kid dumping a load in his pants, but the internet was down at the fucking cafe so that put a stop to the process.
Now I have to sit here at my house and pretend to be inspired (do you really need inspirado to type a fucking blog) while I look at the stupid dogs sniffing their own asses (maybe cats would be less annoying, there was that poster for free ones...), even If I could sniff my own anus, I would probably do it once, get bored and start jerking off or something.
It's all fall like outside and the leaves are changing from green to shades of crimson and... wrong! I hate fall this shit blows, anyone who says fall is their favorite season should have a fucking lobotomy! Yes the leaves are changing... because they are dying, pretty sure nobody looks at a dude with jaundice and says " oh how wonderful Dave's skin is turning yellow! like all the colors of autumn".
You know that in a week or two there will be that inevitable warm spell and we will call it Indian Summer (Indians only get a week, because we needed the rest to grow some corn and shit that they lent us) and everyone will put on their flip flops and shorts again, but bitch that it's warm out and how much they love fall or how we don't even have four seasons anymore just summer and winter.
Fall is not beautiful, it's more like old people at the nursing home waiting for their foot to fall off from the diabetes, but they are the wheelchair that they push around with the good foot and they still get to hang in the day room waiting for family and friends to visit (Indian Summer) only they can't make it Sunday because the pack is on at noon.
I just started getting into this watching football and drinking beers on Sunday thing and it's actually pretty lame, the only good part is that it is totally acceptable to be fucking smashed during the day! I have tried the other days of the week and someone is always judging me or pulling me over or telling me to sleep in my own yard, but not on Sunday... now I know what Jesus was talking about.