Inspiration like sometimes comes to us from the most unlikely of places, right? - Kim Kardashian - (just prior to performing fellatio on some random professional athlete)
Maybe Donkey Butt did say something as profound as this and maybe she didn't; I really don't give a shit one way or the other. All I know is that my disdain for the K-Dashes, the Real Succubuses of Wherever and anyone promoting 50 Shades of Grey has reached its saturation temperature and can no longer be quelled by any amount of Bombay Sapphire (that shit takes forever to boil). When did misguided plastic surgery, greed and apathy towards knowledge become the status quo?
Have I been absent-mindedly text-drifting through the fog while some tenth grader named Skylar has been left to steer the G-6?
I am completely incapable of embracing what the world has become; a neanderthal on a planet of apes lacking the capacity to halt the regression nor light the Promothean fires of knowledge.
Slide on down world, slide down into the abyss of pop culture darkness and wrap yourself in a blanket of ignorance made from US Weekly and OK magazines. I shall sit atop this throne of paperbacks purchased at the library book sale for a buck apiece and hurl insults over your heads.
Am I better than these great American heroes? Absolutely...
Do these false gods signify the biblical end of days? Probably...
Does any of this even matter? Nope... but I need to hurry up and set the DVR to record, because Pawn Tards and all of the other completely unscripted reality shows about America's most interesting rednecks are on at eight!!!
