And Like A Good Neighbor...

And like a good neighbor State Farm is there!
Where State Farm, where exactly would that be? Have you seen my neighbors? I got underwear guy eating Cheerios in bed every night over to the left of me and crazy fucking cat lady stinking up the block just to the right. They don't bother me so does that make them good neighbors? Are you that good State Farm? I definitely don't want pee-stain panty man bringing me a sandwich and when I lent the feline queen some olive oil I told her to just keep the bottle to avoid getting cat shit all over my house when she returned it. When I sing the State Farm jingle while taking a shit are you going to wipe my ass for me? Well, are you? State Farm you almost had me, because your commercials were slightly less annoying than those damn Geicko commercials with the squeeling pig and the woodchucks, but the singing hipster kids? Come on... who are you fooling? At least Nationwide has the awesome phone guy. You should probably try to pry Jersey Shore Ronnie away from his good friends at Xenadrine, because he is an awesome spokesman and reads at a 9th grade level. If you were actually committed to your customers you would have at least had the decency to hire the Kardashian sisters to plug your shitty product. The level of respect that you have for us would have come shining on through with Kim's talent-less fat ass rumbling in my face and one of the other fucking morons following her around like a lost child. State Farm if you want to be a good neighbor maybe you should mind your own business and stay out of my goddamn living room.