I am Renegade

This is a copy of a letter that Lorenzo Lamas wrote to his deceased wife shortly after a documentary crew began to follow him around in the Fall of '92.
September 19th 1992
Baby,
"I was a cop, and good at my job. But I committed the ultimate sin, and testified against other cops gone bad. Cops that tried to kill me, but got the woman I loved instead. Framed for murder, now I prowl the badlands. An outlaw hunting outlaws, a bounty hunter, a Renegade." Thats right, I am Renegade and I will avenge your death. Me, Bobby Sixkiller and his hot sister Cheyenne, who I totally plan on banging (hold on a sec I need to take my shirt off and pour some water over my head in slo-mo 'cause I been heatin' up out here in the badlands of the West). I have been growing my hair out so I can pull it back into a pony tail for doing karate fighting in bars. I also have started wearing cowboy boots as part of my disguise and they make my roundhouse kick ten times more deadly than in my old cop shoes. I miss you so much that I will think about you when I am doing sex to Cheyenne from behind. Remember when I had short hair and laid by the pool at the Falcon Crest? That was pretty cool, but I have become Renegade for at least five more years and after that I don't really plan on doing much. Sometimes when I am rescuing Bobby Sixkiller from the guys whose karate is not as good as mine I imagine myself doing it with some Playmates, that would be sweet, but not 'til I solve your murder, clear my name and do a spinning jump kick to this biker's head in my duster (he couldn't see it comin cause the duster is like a cloak and I don't wear a shirt under it; it's made of leather). When I was in the Special Forces before I was a cop I learned how to blend into my environment so don't worry about me, I just look like a renegade and I sorta am, but only for fake. I miss you baby and all of the tang that I must hit in order to solve your murder and bring Dixon to justice is my way of living, I know that is what you would want.
Love,
Renegade
P.S. I put the Harley on your credit card, but I promise to pay it off after I clear my name.
P.P.S. Hey, if you see my mom up there can you tell her to tell Bobby Sixkiller's mom he is sorry about crashing the Winnebago, we were being chased and it does not make a good getaway vehicle and Bobby can't drive for shit anyhow.