I like giving shout outs to my homies running this here little country we call "The America"; so thanks big B.O. for dropping some knowledge bombs on that stupid Chinese guy last week. I don't trust him in the least, but you showed him with your mastery of diplomacy and that award winning side smile (I love when you do that on T.V. I definitely trust you). You should have challenged him to some b-ball, you guys could have played two on two; he could have Yao Ming and you could team up with LeBron (America loves that guy). It would be a tough game, but it would definitely teach him a few things about human rights violations and pollution... USA... USA!
Hey Oprah, first of all you are possibly the greatest first lady ever (just wanted to get that outta the way). Finding your long lost half-sister is a major triumph. Where was she? In the woods by the shed? Behind the sofa in the living room? I always found my brother in the laundry room hiding in a hamper (not very original I know, but he was only six). Hide and seek is so much fun.
Illinois; I should probably move to your wonderfully flat state, the way you raised taxes nearly 66% for residents makes Canada proud and who doesn't like Canadians? They are some seriously funny mofos, Norm McDonald, Jon Candy and the rest of Saturday Night Live... awesome! I can only hope that my state takes similar action against the virulent scourge known as taxpayers, we need to be taught a lesson for working hard and living within our borders.
Is it just me or is Illinois running this shit? It's probably just me, I get distracted with conspiracy theories every now and again, so please ignore that last statement.
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