I Wrote A Play

Hello Hello!
Lets talk about work!
It just so happens I wrote a brief play about work so... enjoy!
Typical customer in a downtown watering hole on a Tuesday night during happy hour.
Waitress: "Hi, my name is Cindy, our special today is... and you can fatten that up with... and for only three dollars more you can..."
Randy: "Cindy, you can shut the fuck up and bring me a glass of whole milk and a snickerdoodle"
Cindy: "Sir I'm sorry we don't have cookies or milk here... this is a bar, would you like to speak with my manager"?
Randy: "Yes bitch, if you want a tip!"
Manager Tard: "Hi my name is Brad and I am the manager here at sizlbeesgarchiltueslobster, what seems to be the trouble sir?"
Jesus (me): "Well Brad... all I wanted was a fucking snickerdoodle and a glass of whole milk and Cindy spit on me, kicked me in the dick, raped my butt and then called my wife a diseased whore!"
"Cindy should be fired and I would like my money back."
Brad the Manager of this Shitty Chain: " Sir, I apologize for Cindy she is new here and will be dealt with and as far as the refund goes... you never ordered."
Guy Who is the Customer (right, always): "Brad you can suck a big fat dick and go fuck yourself, give me free stuff or I will send out a complaint e-mail to your corporate website and you will all be shitcanned so fast your faux hawked little head will spin."
Angry Manager Brad: "Sir again I apologize... here is a gift card that can be used at any one of our 3.2 million locations."
Happy Customer Me: " Thanks Brad and hey Cindy here is my number shoot me a call when you get off work later... so we can have sex."
FIN
In this play I was the asshole customer and of course that is not true, because I am the hero and have nothing but respect for human dignity, but this does occur on a regular basis.
In the real world I would play the part of Brad, Cindy would be a sophomore at Marquette University just trying to make ends meet and the customer would be played by any douche wearing a cheap suit, who just got off work downtown and needs to blow off some steam before heading home to Carol and the kids out in suburbtown. That being said... it is time for advice!
Customer: Seriously you are a fucking douchebag and every time you walk in the door the servers cringe at the thought of serving you, they collect around the Aloha system and make fun of your bad suit, balding head and pathetic attempts at flirting, my advice to you is shut the fuck up, quit whining, tip properly then go home and be miserable, do not bring it into the bar; save that for the wife and the six pack of High Life chillin' in the fridge.
Server: You are pretty much screwed, this butt plug is probably a regular and has never spent one minute working in a bar. If you are rude he will complain and get you fired, if you are nice he still won't tip, but he will continue to eye fist the hell out of you and probably bring his cronies in to join the fun! Best bet is to serve aloofly and $99 suit guy will lose interest and sit in another section (next servers problem).
Manager: Poor sucker, you are taking it in the ass repeatedly, you might as well move to Tijuana and join the donkey show 'cause it aint gettin' any better buddy! You are looking forward to a lifetime of bullshit being crammed up your ass from corporate and a mile of cock being rammed down your throat from unsatisfied customers and disillusioned staff. By the way this is just over the next six months bud. You have two options. Get the hell out now (the best option) or suck down that dick and crank up that smile, your ever expanding waste-line will only be matched by your sky rocketing blood pressure and it's no big deal 'cause you probably have a great health plan at work!