When Technology Failed

Technology has failed me again dammit!
 So last week I was just minding my own business and perusing some adult oriented material (for research) on the old Compaq (oh man the coolest looking biker butch just strolled in with her feathered greaser do and shade changer glasses; she is totally hitting on the barista!) when low and behold...BOOM!! The plastic info box blew itself to fucking smithereens!
If I didn't have cat like ninja reflexes I easily could have been killed, but I am awesome and did a dive roll and finished it off with a roundhouse kick to save both my life and the kittens that were trapped in the tree outside my window.
My laptop was a piece of shit anyways, but I still feel betrayed. The doors of technology were being opened to me and I thought we had a bond that could not be severed.
Betrayal is a double edged scimitar though and with the loss of the M2000 I may now step into technology 2010 style. Windows XP was pretty sweet and kept me warm at night, but Vista is like a hot new girlfriend to do sex stuff with!
Admittedly I am a bit overwhelmed by all the features at my disposal and I am not the smartest retard in retard school so there is going to be a little bit of that giddy nervousness (and vomiting… definitely vomiting) every time I fire up HP 6730s. Thankfully technology has dumbed itself down and even Randall J can partake in this brave new world!
Compaq Presario M2000 you will be missed, we shared many beers (probably why you chose to end it all, you did seem a bit depressed of late) and tag teamed a lot of naked ladies, but all good things must come to an end (proven fact)… adios.
Hello HP6730s.
Would you like to go sex up some naughties with me?
You would!
I love you new laptop!
If you ever try to leave me I will spill beer all over you and drop you on the floor…