Charlie Sheen

So I have been kinda gettin' off track lately with all this political shit, but I have finally decided to sit down in my "big boy man chair," drink some brew and get back to business. I apologize for beating your minds off with my finger words, but you know you wanted it and besides it's not cheating if our eyes never met.
March is here and as they say "in like a thing and out like a thing that gets stalked and killed by the first thing"... which is total bullshit!
I don't know anything about weather, but I do know if anything came "in like a lion" there wouldn't be anything left to go "out like a lamb" so get a new saying... I think I'm gonna boycott these bitches.
All this time not boozing it up and sharing my awesome with you, has left a serious hole in my blood pumper zone; so it may take some practice to get back after it, but I am really good at word doing so deal with it.
Now, has anyone been following this Charles Sheen situation? All I know is this dude is a warlock and has tiger blood in those veins so do not fuck with him! I repeat do not fuck with him! Those cat blood transfusions hurt like a bitch (I should know, I tried it once while I was in college... I was just experimenting... I needed the money, trust me... it got a little weird), give you I.B.S. and do not turn your lead into gold, even though you tried really hard and asked Merlin for advice.
Smoking crack is pretty cool and all, but... wait a sec, goddammit Charlie Sheen stop possessing me!
I know it looks bad for Chuck and his rantings seem like the ravings of an unstable megalomaniac, but its just a big ass, butt fucking conspiracy. Chaz is right and the rest of the world is wrong; so fuck you 2.5 dudes (I watched one of those and I think the little kid is the other whole and the guy who played "Ducky' is the half, because he totally sucks balls), who needs you anyway!?
Something like this happened once before if I recall... his name was Jesus and he was persecuted and cruxified (yes, cruxified, it hurts more), then some dudes wrote a bestseller about the guy and look who feels guilty now.
Charlie Sheen, you should be my dad... or, nope... you should definitely be my dad!