Florida has a plethora of less than useful wildlife of which the alligator is included, I for one hate all of them and wouldn't mind taking a napalm frag to this whole damn flea-ridden place; mind you that would end the glory that is I; then what would you do on a chilly Friday morning in December? Work? This is America none of you actually work, get over yourselves... assholes.
The Sunshine State, or so it has been called, is less a "wonderland," (that's what my body is) and more of an ancient tar pit luring us slow moving mastodons to the promise of relaxation and the quenching of our thirsts. All the while a boiling cauldron of shit is hiding just below the surface ready to entomb us for eternity (or at least until some future archaeologist comes along and digs me up and says "What the fuck is this?" "Looks like an extinct race of sub-human encased in shit." "He appears (they know I'm a male because of my fossilized dick-bone) to be entangled (from battling) with an alligator, a shark, 13 fleas, 6 cockroaches and a 1993 Cadillac Seville driven by an elderly woman wearing broken glasses and a blue wig?"
Very little useful information will be disseminated from the discovery of my twisted corpse, because future man will be so traumatized by finding his evolutionary link in such a state that they will just blow up whatever the hell is still left of Florida (by then most of it will be back under water, where it belongs) in an attempt to erase their shame.
This stretch of sun blanched atoll is better left to all the worthless animals that have made their way here. Things migrate to Florida to die. The elderly, white trash, alligators; all completely useless and just biding the time that they have left on a little strip of land soon to be reclaimed by the depths.
Florida is lovely this time of year!
Florida is lovely this time of year!
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